“First kiss, chemicals have a lot to do with love” from 9news.com

DENVER - Dr. Jan Roy knew she’d be spending the week speaking at a conference at Metropolitan State College. What she didn’t know was that her beau of 12 years was planning a trip there too.

“We’ve never had a Valentine’s Day where he didn’t find me. And I’ve lived in eight states,” said Roy of Bernard Turner, with whom she’s had an on-and-off relationship for 12 years.

Even though it was more than a decade ago, Turner recalls hearing “bells and angels,” when he first held Roy’s hand.

“I said to myself, ‘I really like this girl,’” he said.

What happened to Turner isn’t uncommon. According to psychologists, for some people it can be unavoidable.

“Some people will feel on the first date that they’ve already fallen in love,” said Dr. Mary Ann Watson, assistant chair of the Department of Psychology at Metro State College and a psychologist who specializes in relationships.

Watson says studies show that people who feel as though they are falling in love often experience a chemical release in the brain.

“When you’re first falling in love, it’s dopamine that takes over the brain,” said Watson. “And dopamine doesn’t allow us to make very good decision.”

She adds some interesting findings from MRI studies.

“When you look at brain studies, you can’t tell much difference between a brain that is registering ‘falling in love’ and a brain that has mental illness,” said Watson.

Watson also says a first kiss is sometimes more important than couples think.

“The majority of studies of people say they have at least once or twice rejected someone based on that first kiss,” she said.

She advises anyone seeking out true love to wait for the dopamine levels to drop and allow what she calls the “passionate” stage of love to pass.

“That typically doesn’t last longer than six months or a year,” Watson said.

The other level of love, which Watson said can be harder to achieve, is the “companionate” stage.

“Do you like this person? Are you companions? Does the relationship make sense?” asked Watson.

Watson says, usually people are drawn to others who are most like them for long-term relationships.

“It’s true, opposites attract,” she said. “But opposites don’t stay together very long.”

Roy and Turner are content with their relationship as-is.

“After all these years, he’s still romantic,” she said. “He still makes my heart skip a beat.”

“First kiss, chemicals have a lot to do with love” from 9news.com